he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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