you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize