Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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