my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
