Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
