Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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