yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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