All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
