her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
