We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
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Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
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The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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