He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
