did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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