Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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