She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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