dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
