I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
