i was born a porn star she said
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
