All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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