HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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