If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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