Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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