yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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