I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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