Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
