Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I can't turn off my feet"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
