dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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