East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
