Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
