I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
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Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
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YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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