It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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