I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
MIDGETS
????
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize