Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
