OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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