I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
