Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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