she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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