i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
