so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I still have a little drunk in my system
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
