hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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