Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
