i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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