Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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