Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
where are you?
Hypothermia
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
