I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
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