wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
