i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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