You just made me feel so damn special
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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