Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
