I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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