you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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