sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
