I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize