Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
40s are totally the cure
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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