Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize