I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
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You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
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he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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