so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
