"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Randomize
