i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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