she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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