i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
