I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
How naked do you want me to be?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
