dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
