the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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